If your purple prose makes folks abhor you,
I have just the right drug to restore you!
You need a depressant,
An "anti-expressant,"
And my patent Prozaic will cure you!

Based on the suggestion: "prosaic as a pun on Prozac"

Some might think me a simple fond Jew
When I tell them I lust for fondue.
But my biblical scrolls
Aren't written in gold...
"Melted cheese" is my torah's font hue.

Based on the suggestion: "fondue"