That jerk has the manager snowed.

He wrote her a simpering ode,
Then he called me pedantic!
That slick, sycophantic,
Obsequious, unctuous toad!!

Based on the suggestion: “obsequious”

As your grandparents learn to use Skype
Be patient, and try not to gripe.
They prefer their old app:

Two cans on a strap

And a fuzzy daguerreotype.

(the final rhyme is smoother if you use the alternate pronunciation of the word: “duh-gair-ee-uh-tahyp”)

Based on the suggestion: “Skype”

You can tell that a guy is a batula
If his only utensil's a spatula.
He fries eggs and grills cheeses
Microwaves and de-freezes,
But never does make-it-from-scratula.

Based on the suggestion: “spatula"

When teaching your puppy obedience,
Try a combo of these three ingredients:
A cup of control,
A dash of cajole,
And a gallon of simple expedience.

Based on the suggestion: “obedience”

Two variations on an idea:

My akita, a puppy named Hachi,
Requires a vigilant watch. He
Adores sausage links,
So if one merely blinks
There's the pup and an empty hibachi.

My akita, a puppy named Hachi,
Kicks the dog grooming chore up a notch. He
Has fur that's so brimming
That without frequent trimming
His appearance gets very sasquatch-y.


Based on the suggestion: “Hachi”

I've come up with a nautical wrinkle
On the song that begins “Twinkle, twinkle.”
Instead of a star, wish
Your wish on a starfish,
And sing to it this: “Winkle, winkle...”


 
Sting winkle; photo credit David Fenwick

Based on the suggestion: “twinkle”

It's been said that, for all his might, Caesar,
When sick, was a pitiful wheezer.
But his nose, fully Roman,
Protrudes like a gnomon!
He was doubtless a powerful sneezer!

Based on the suggestion: “sneeze"

A postmodern ode on a theremin competition...


The mere hint
               of the theremins' wail,

As their men
               risk a challenging
                                      scale:

They crush Do,
                             then
                                          Re,
                                                    Mi,

But then mire on
                                    Ti.

Enter him
                   – the harsh judge –
                                                       howling, “Fail!”

Based on the suggestion: “theremin”

I couldn't find a rhyme for theremin.  So I decided to load in a bunch of anagrams instead (see if you can find them all).  The result was a bit eccentric, but then so's the theremin.

At my first sushi meal I was hooked

By the elegant way that it looked.

But I sent it all back

To the kitchen. Alack,

They had served the food way undercooked!

Based on the suggestion: “sushi”